Books, Novels, & Audiobooks by Jordan Krumbine
Audiobooks on YouTube
Written and performed by Jordan Krumbine. Full-length. Audiobook shorts. Totally free.
About the Author
Jack-of-all trades. Master of all.
Jordan Krumbine is a Creative Wizard™ currently (and happily) bubbled in Hell's Waiting Room, where democracy, civil liberties, and old people go to die (also known as Florida). When not spinning short stories, drafting his next advertising-inappropriate novel, or quietly pounding out feature screenplays on-contract, he's working as a professional video editor and creative producer, playing with (and animating) LEGO, enjoying the company of his 4-legged life partner, Jerry, and not-so-silently begging for affection from his other two motherfuzzers, Harvey Two-Cheeks and Crawl.
What People Are Saying
“A bonkers story of penile horror. Keep going until you finish.”
(Don’t Be A Monster, Dick!)
“[Publishing companies] should be looking at [him] now.”
(Abraham Owens is Punched, Drunk, & All Out of F*cks!)
“A wild ride thru the bowels of humanity … let’s go punch some fucking Nazis!!”
(Abraham Owens is Punched, Drunk & All Out of F*cks)
“The quintessential 20-something Orlando experience. Anyone who's lived through their 20s in the Orlando area will see themselves in this book.”
(Religiously Roasted Every Goddamn Day)
“Excellent writing [...] loved the story.”
(Florida Girls, A Short Story)
“Engaging, post-modern deconstructionist thought and critical race theory [...] Krumbine uses the character Zaphod Zombie to explore the nihilistic philosophical proclivities of our age.”
(Don't Call Me Zombie)
“I am not a reader, however I read this book over a series of my lunch hours at work and didn't want my lunch hour to end!”
(Don't Call Me Zombie)
“I didn't want to put it down.”
(Don't Call Me Zombie)
“Belle Delphine meets Saw.”
(#TextMe😘, A Short Story)
“Trust me when I say that you've never read anything like it.”
(Don’t Be A Monster, Dick!)
“Started out so good and hilarious that I told my husband to read it.”
(Don’t Be A Monster, Dick!)
“Creepier than Black Mirror.”
(Pixel Perfect, A Short Story)
“Suspenseful, funny, poignant. Read now so you can say you were a fan from the beginning.”
(Abraham Owens is Punched, Drunk, & All Out of F*cks!)
“This took a turn I was not ready for ... made me sick in exactly the way I imagine you were going for!”
(#TextMe😘, A Short Story)
“I haven't read anything that funny for a long time. Really good stuff.”
(Zombie Jesus Wants to Save Your Soul ... for Dessert)
“Wildly original.”
(Zombie Jesus Wants to Save Your Soul ... and 6 Other Short Stories)
“Reads in a Raymond Chandler Noir style.”
(Abraham Owens is Punched, Drunk, & All Out of F*cks!)
“Weirdest story ever. Holy creativity, Batman!”
(Explorers of the Unknown vs the Geriatric Werewolves, a short story)
“The funniest yet most wholesome read I've had in a while. LOVED the dialogue.”
(The Worst Zombie Apocalypse in the History of Ever)
“A political rant on toxic masculinity.”
(Don’t Be A Monster, Dick!)
“A ridiculous, gory, horrifying romp with a very satisfying end.”
(Don’t Be A Monster, Dick!)
