Welcome to the United States of Content: A Declaration of Content
Text originally published September 4, 2021. Video published October 15, 2022.
When in the course of internet events, it becomes necessary for users to dissolve the bands that connect them to reality, from time to time users must elevate their codebase to its rightful place among the powers of the Algorithm. The codebase must exist in a separate but equal station alongside the Laws of Internet Providers (and of the Internet Provider’s corporate board and financial stakeholders), wherein a decent respect — or relative facsimile thereof — to the opinions, hot takes, and cancelations of user kind, requires that said users should declare the Content which impels them to such ascension.
Welcome to the United States of Content where originality is a commodity, experiences only happen if they’re captured on camera, and individuality is mass-produced and sold to anyone willing to pay the two-year upgrade fee.
Here in the United Content of Content, all people exist as equals, Algorithmically ranked as faceless users, capable of achieving equal levels of internet fame and celebrity-based exclusively on the quality, originality, and how genuine the user’s content is, regardless of the user’s race, color, or creed.
(Real celebrities are exempt from the Algorithmic ranking and will, of course, receive preferential treatment and visibility, regardless of the quality, originality, or how genuine their celebrity content is.)
In the Content Content of Content, one platform under AI-based machine learning, indivisible, invisible, and incomprehensible to all, all users have an equal right to the pursuit of happiness, both tangible and intangible as well as the right to the pursuit of internet clout, intangible and unquantifiable, limited only by the quality of said user’s content, with freedom and EULAs for all.
In the Content Content of Content for Content, with Content and Content, all Content is Content for Content in Content, Content. Content.
Amen.
Signed on this day, September Fourth, in the year of our Lord, Two Thousand and Twenty-One.
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